Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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