Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
