apparently the secret to your success is patron
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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