It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
