There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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