Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
a search helicopter?!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
