Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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