I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
