I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
