I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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