i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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