I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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