my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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