is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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