today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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