remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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