Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
