He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
