I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
