Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
