Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
