You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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