I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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