I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You are the jesus of drinking
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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