Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
