I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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