I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
