Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
