Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Randomize
