Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
