Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
