I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
