Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's official drugs can't kill me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
