My first STD was from a foam party
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize