yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
