So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
