Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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