this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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