You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
pray to the hookup gods
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
