his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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