HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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