i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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