just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize