you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's never too late to be topless.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
