Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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