two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize