he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You just made me feel so damn special
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
