peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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