your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
