Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
