Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
