Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize