I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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