I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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