That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
