i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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