i think my tv is drunk
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
