just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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