I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
