woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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