worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
