Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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