I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
