i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
