I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
