Are we in a gay sports bar?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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