We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
