Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My vagina is officially offended.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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