The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
honey bunches of taint.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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