Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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