A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
