Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When are your genitals available?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
