we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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