My brain says no but my pants say off.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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