i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
