So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
