dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Even my vagina gasped.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
