Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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