Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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