I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
