All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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