idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
