can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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