Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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